Grouse14 Wins Saturdays with Dr. Pauly; Becomes First Repeat Champion

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

Benjo (everyone's favorite malcontent chain-smokin' Pai Gow addicted journalist) visited LA for a few days after all of the French players busted out of the WPT Championships. We let him crash at the apartment with Change100 and myself. This morning, we headed to In & Out Burger for our pre-game meal.

I got something off the menu. Nothing too exotic, just a triple cheeseburger.


Anyway, after lunch, we headed back to play. There were 29 runners for Week 13. The Top 5 were paid. This week featured special guest SirWaffles.

Grouse14 had left an ominous comment at 8:43am ET on the morning of the tournament which said, "I have not been to the tourney for a while, but I plan on making a comeback today and becoming the first repeat champ......Look out."

My starting table included grouse14, DrPauly, Emil_M, AcerbicOne, Clintonstain, change1OO, and Derek.

Waffles was Gigli. He flopped a set of 7s in a three-way pot. phxman00 turned a set of Kings and had Waffles on the ropes... with a gutshot or quads as his only hopes for a miracle. He got neither on the river and headed to the rail as Gigli.

I spewed chips early and then doubled up against Friedman to get back a little above even. I cracked his A-A-x-x with two pair. The highest I got was 6th in chips with about 22 remaining. It was all downhill afterwards.

I played too many hands, per usual, and saw flops in 27 out of 45 dealt hands. 60%! But my table was six-handed or seven-handed for a bit and I like to see a lot of flops in position in PLO.

I busted out in 17th place. I had 1.2K in chips and found Ks-6h-6c-5s. Two players limped. I potted. O-hole-ne folded. Grouse14 re-raised to put me all in. I was committed and called. He had Qh-Qd-2d-2c. I flopped a gutshot and turned a flush draw. Alas, I missed on the river and grouse14 won the pot as I was out.

At the first break, Chewbot was the chipleader with 10.4K and 16 players remaining.

The final table included... Benjo, lanmah, chenzilla, mooninjune, grouse14, USC55ND24, AcerbicOne, phxman00, and Chewbot.

Benjo took over the lead after he doubled up against the chipleader in the biggest pot of the tournament. He got all his money in on the turn with trips against Chewbot's two pair. Benjo's stack jumped to over 22K.

Phxman00 was the Bubble Boy and hit the rail in 6th place. Benjo was the chipleader with almost 30K. At one point Benjo slipped to 25K, but he still had more chips than the remaining four combinded. They all had similar stack sizes ranging from 4K to 5k.

Benjo knocked out Chewbot in 5th and was rolling along. Then he took a big hit after Grouse14 doubled up with a sick hand. Benjo flopped a set but Grouse rivered a bigger set to win. Grouse took over the chiplead by a slim margin. Benjo busted out in 4th shortly after.

At the second break, grouse14 had the chip lead with 23.4K, Chenzill second with 11.3K, and Shamus trailing with 8.7k. After the break, Shamus chipped his way up to second place.

Chenzilla busted out in 3rd place. grouse14 raised from the small blind. Chenzilla re-raised to 5.4K from the big blind. Chenzilla called. The fop was Qd-4d-4h. Grouse14 checked. Chenzilla moved all in for his last 6,210 with A-A. Grouse14 called with trip fours. That held up and Chenzilla was out.

When heads up began, Shamus had 7.5K to Grouse14's 36K stack. On the fifth hand of heads up play, Shamus busted out in second place. On the final hand, Grouse raised to 1,800 and Shamus potted. Grouse re-raised to put him all in and Shamus called off his 5.5K stack.

Shamus: As-Qc-5c-4c
Grouse14: Jc-Jd-10c-6h

The board ran out 8c-8d-7d-2d-Kh. Grouse14 won with two pair and won the tournament.

Week 13 Money Winners:
1. Grouse14 - $116
2. Short-stacked Shamus - $69.60
3. Chenzilla - $46.40
4. Benjo - $34.80
5. Chewbot - $23.20

Grouse14 won the first ever Saturday's with Dr. Pauly. With his victory in Week 13, he has become the first two-time winner. Congrats!

Thanks to everyone who participated. Hope to see everyone next week!


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Taste

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

I have been dabbling in PLO.

That sounds very edgy like on the borderline of taboo, sort of like in your 20s when you dabbled in cocaine on the weekends or when your best buddy tells you that he and his wife have been dabbling in the local swinger's scene. By those examples, dabbling means putting your nose or penis in places you don't usually. Perhaps dabbling is a poor choice of words.

I have been feeding my inner action junkie with PLO cash games.

That little monster has an insatiable appetite. The money doesn't matter to me. Neither does the stakes. I crave the inundation of the gambler's high that overcomes my senses when I shove all in with a monster draw, especially when I get called in a three-way pot and I find myself way, way, way behind. Then there's the invigorating jolt of anticipation as the the river card appears and then you magically spike your draw on the river.

You can never come that as close to an orgasm without jizzing all over yourself. Well, maybe at the Rhino.

It's like the millisecond before Kirk Gibson tagged a back-door slider on a 3-2 count against Dennis Eckersley in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series.

Or like that second before Larry Johnson hit that infamous four-point play in Game 3 of the 1999 NBA Eastern Conference Finals.

As Kirk Gibson said, "That's the great thing about the game. People think they got ya and it's so nice to get them and snatch it away at the end."

I've gone on week-long benders seeking out the highs that I can get from sitting at a PLO table. I always get a slight buzz when I utter the words... PLO. I like saying it out loud.

"Pee. El. Ohhhhh."

The letters roll off my tongue and my mouth automatically salivates. I beseech any action. NL Hold'em doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't get off like I used to. I require something stronger. It's like giving an alkie a sip of Lite beer when he has Johnny Walker raging through his bloodstream. My senses need a little more excitement than two cards. I have played so many hands of poker that I built up a tolerance and I really need a game with juiced action to get any semblance of a rush.

PLO has four cards. Double the dosage. Double the rush.

When I sit down at a PLO table, the inner gambling demons are washed away and I sink down into a grandiose feeling of warmth. Relaxtion. Pleasure. Satisfaction.

I won a glorious hand one afternoon. It was a four-way pot. The flop was Kd-10h-8s. I held Ad-Kh-7h-5d and fired out at that scary flop. I got two callers. The turn was the 6d. I redrew to an open-ended straight draw and a nut flush draw. I bet the pot. One player called. Another potted. I took all the time in the time bank as I let the rush build up before I re-potted all in. Both players called. I took a deep breath before the Qd fell on the river. For a couple of seconds I floated a few inches off the ground.

And the thing is, I also take a fair share of brutal beats in PLO and there's nothing I can do about it. You get just as much as a rush when you're ahead in a hand and succumb to the river suckout.

I held Qh-Jd-Jc-9c and flopped top set. I got it all in against a guy with bottom set. He rivered a one outer. But I got a euphoric buzz the moment before the river card was exposed. What you usually recall are the vexatious feelings of the suckout and forget about the burst of adrenaline that rocketed through your body as soon as you got all your money in ahead.

The most intoxicating hand that I had all week was Qh-Qd-7c-7s. It was three-handed. I raised pre-flop. The flop was 10s-6h-2s. Both players checked-called my pot-sized bet. The Qc fell on the turn. I felt much better with top set against whatever draws or two pairs out there. Both players check-called my pot-sized bet. The river was he Qs. Both players checked, I bet half of the pot. One player called and the other check-raised all in. I just called instead of raising. I was hoping to get the other player to call as well. He did just that. My runner-runner quads held up against a flush and a full house.

Here's the thing... there's a downside to the opiated feelings of PLO. Excess of anything is bad for you and moderation is the key to a fulfilling life. But discovering the perfect dosage is the most difficult part for people with addictive personalities. Too little and you don't get off. Too much? And you end up a whacked out cotton shooter jonesin' every hour of the day.

All I need is a little taste as I do backflips on the fine line between a hobby and an addiction.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Daggers in Men's Smiles

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

Oh my God. Iggy put aside Guinness and Politics for a moment and actually blogged about poker! Right now, on the other side of the world a butterfly just got smashed to death when its brains ended up splattered on a windshield of a truck. Coincidence or just another meaningless event in life?

Not to be outdone, I'm pressured to write actual poker content that's not drivel commentating on the dark side of humanity gambling and Las Vegas. I wish I could sit around and write about happy things like rainbows and bumblebees and pocket Aces holding up and a day without cheating in poker, but then again, I've always been one to speak what I feel instead of what I ought to say and that gets me into a lot of trouble.

I have been enjoying poker as it has taken on a different and a minor role in my life. I played almost every day in April (except when I was seeing Widespread Panic in New York). I have been on a nice run over the last two weeks, mostly because I have been in the same place and settled into a daily routine which gave me several hours every night to play poker.

And here's what's even more bizarre... I actually played a bunch of tournaments in the last ten days or more. I know, I know. I never play tournaments any more. They are a waste of time and I don't have large chunks of time to devote to playing a bunch to get back into peak form, if I was every in peak tournament form. Every few months I seems to migrate to a different area of poker... from PLO cash games to NL SNGS to Limit cash games to NL cash games to MTTs.

I usually switch things up when I get bored or slip into a losing streak. I used to be stubborn and plug away at losing streaks. Now I know it's best to take a few days away from the grind and get my mind off of losing and start thinking about more positive things. Most recently, I have been bored and it's been hard to find full ring mid-limit LHE games so I have been feasting off the cod and trout infesting the 1/2 and 2/4 NL tables.

* * * * *
I've also been passively trying to find a cheap seat into a WSOP event. I'm only going to play one event this year and I'd like to satellite in if possible. Tony G staked me last year in one of those Saturday $1,500 NL clusterfucks and to everyone's surprise... I cashed.

I played a couple of WSOP main event freerolls on Poker Stars for their latest promotion. You are eligible to play one per week, so why not? Those entry freerolls attract several thousand players. Talk about a tiresome journey! It's a pushfest early on in a sprint to see who can luck out the most and accumulate monster stacks since only the Top 50 get a ticket into the Saturday Weekly Finals where they're giving away seats.

The one that I played last week had 3,471 runners. The first 1K busted out in the first fifteen minutes. Over half the field was gone in 25 minutes. Those freerolls are always filled with lunatics and that's why I play like one. Only madness can succumb to utter madness. I doubled up a couple of times early with big dogs like... J-J and A-Q. I also sheepishly took down a pot with 9-3o.

I didn't last long and busted out in 1,229th place. Five players limped in a pot and I jammed with A-10 from big blind aka Stig Top-Rasmussen. A muppet with K-10 called. Bad beats against dominated hands are the worst of the worst, especially when you get outflopped by an eyeless villain from Scandinavia.

* * * * *
I made a rare appearance at MATH. There were 70 players and action was six-handed. My starting table included RaisingCayne, tilt away, ScottMc, katiemother, and mclarich. I played a lot of hands and raised RaisingCayne big blind a lot. I had a healthy stack when I doubled up short stack. I was ahead but lost to a treacherous four-flush. I never really recovered and got switched tables.

At my new table, I was way below average. The button raised and I went for a re-steal. He actually had a decent hand and called with A-Q. I missed and was out in an unimpressive 54th place.

I played the Mookie last week too. There were over 100 players and the final two tables got paid.

My starting table Donkette, millerd33, LJ, GCox25, pokerenthusiast, Julkeus, jeciimd, and rmbj494. I doubled up early when I flopped a set of 4s and then rivered a boat against Donkette. I built up a stack then lost the majority it when I jammed with a big draw. I had a gutshot straight flush draw against top pair. I missed and got crippled. I was shortstacked and tried to steal from the cutoff. My A-2 ran into Alceste's A-K. I couldn't suck out and got busted in 70th place.

* * * * *
Last Sunday was 4/20 Day which is a holiday for midnight tokers all over North America. I played in Uncle Chuck's Basement Game... a $4 NL rebuy. There were 28 herb-friendly players in the event. Top 4 got paid. There were 126 total rebuys. I was in for 11 including the add-on. My starting table included schlepp571, HighOnPoker, lucko21, BuddyDank, Derek, and Zeem.

Ks-10s lost in three-way pot. Reload.

8d-7d lost in three-way pot. Reload.

Q-Q lost to J-10. That one stung. My balls were numb for about twenty minutes after that miserable river. Reload.

6h-5h lost in three-way pot. Reload. Derek won the pot and jumped into the lead with 12K.

J-10 lost to K-K. Reload.

The poker gods finally shined their love light on me. I doubled up with a feeble K-9 and then doubled up again with A-K to go up to 10K.

A-K held against A-10. I jumped to second in chips.

A-Q held up in three-way pot. I was the chipleader with 23 players left.

At the break, I had 16.8K and was second in chips to Astin's 18K.

I had the munchies and ordered Thai food for dinner.... spicy beef waterfall and the yellow curry chicken.

I spewed chips and lost a lot of my stack to a river flush. Change100 and Daddy were moved to my table. Daddy was talking about smoking fingernails. I snorted them once in front of the monkey cages at the Playboy Mansion.

During my banter with Daddy, at some point the little censor guy inside my head let this line slip out... "snorted toenails off the tits of a 15-year old thai hooker." Or something similar to that phrase. I'm shocked that it got through the censors and I haven't had my chat banned.

The food arrived and I was starving. Chips were sparse and I busted out in 13th place. I pushed all in with a gutshot on the turn against Lucko's two pair. I missed on the river and was eliminated. At least I got to feast on delicious Thai food without any interruptions.

Change100 made the final table and the internet went spotty in her apartment just as it reached the bubble. But those problems cleared up and she came from behind to win the 4/20 Day tournament.

I was in the process of rolling a blunt when action was heads up between LJ and Change100. I completed my masterpiece just at the same time as the final hand completed.

"Let's make that a victory blunt!" said an excited Change100.

Fitting that the ganja queen took down Uncle Chuck's basement game on 4/20 of all days.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's AlCantHang

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

It happened to Skippy. Then to Bobby Bracelet. Now to AlCantHang. Bastards!

Wait... who the hell is Skippy? Well, he's the guy who encouraged me to start my first blog in 2002 and in August of 2003, Tao of Poker became a spin off Tao of Pauly.

And what happened to AlCantHang, Skippy, and Bobby Bracelet? Their blogs were discovered by the people who sign their paychecks. They were forced underground.

In honor of my old and dear friend AlCantHang, here's a NSFW montage...



Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

When the Circus Comes to Town

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

By now you have read the news that Brandi Hawbaker committed suicide last week. My traffic spiked to unusual numbers over the last few days as people frantically searched the intertubes for any information about the Brandi Hawbaker suicide, or the Brand Hawbaker obituary, or even the Brandi Hawbaker faked death.

I started getting cryptic emails and phone calls at the beginning of last week when rumors of Brandi's suicide where being whispered among poker industry insiders. I was already in Hollyweird when the first breaths of the story broke. Since I was in the same geographical area, I was asked to investigate the matter for various international media outlets (one offered triple my rate) to write the breaking story. I quietly declined the offer to dig deeper into Brandi Hawbaker's demise. I was in the middle of a rare creative burst of energy and rewriting my screenplay. Why drop everything in my life and pick apart Brandi's carcass like the rest of the bloodthirsty vultures?

Wicked Chops Poker was one of the first outlets to report the rumor. By Friday, more reports trickled in and we mentioned the news of Brandi Habaker's suicide over at LasVegasVegas. By the time the weekend ended, the rumor had become a fact when Brandi Hawbaker's death was eventually confirmed the L.A. County Coroners Office.

I didn't know Brandi but I could tell you one personal story and a few other stories that might entertain you or might help add to the myth and personae. Here's one quick one. At the World Series of Poker last year, I was walking through the roped off players area. As I passed one table, I heard a female voice say, "Aren't you that Dr. Pauly?"

I looked up and it was Brandi Hawbaker. I smiled and said, "Why yes. Yes I am."

She didn't say anything. I sort of stood there in an awkward silence for about ten seconds. I expected her to say something like, "Dude, I love your blog!" Because that's what people who I never met before and stop me in Las Vegas usually tell me. I waited for her to say something. Anything. She said nothing and just nodded her head sort of implying, "Ah, I've seen you wandering around and now I finally know who you are."

That's was my first and only Brandi encounter at the 2007 WSOP. I didn't write about it then and I think this will be the last time that I write about it. Period.

The bottom line is that Brandi Hawbaker (not her personally, but the Brandi Hawbaker effect) represented everything that is inherently demented about our celebrity-drive media culture, about the poker industry, and about living in Las Vegas.

It's distrubing that more people are talking about Brandi's death, than when Chip Reese died unexpectedly last December. I mean, Chip Reese was considered the greatest cash game player of all time. In an industry where all people do is badmouth and talk shit about each other, Chip Reese a saint among hell's worst sinners. You heard very few bad things about Chip. Why? Because he was a true gentleman and treated others around him with dignity and respect.

I kept hearing stories about Chip Reese loaning money to deadbeats and habitually losing poker players when he knew that he was going to get back nothing in return. His friends always got on his case for not calling in those markers or putting the pressure on the people who owed him money. But Chip was never willing to cause any drama. He was a true Buddhist among capitalists and thieves. He felt extremely fortunate in his life and he was willing to give people money who needed it more than himself, even though they almost always gambled the money away.

I guess that I'm not surprised that Brandi Hawbaker's death would get more attention that Chip Reese's death among the everyday poker players. I'm basing that on all of the emails and calls that I have gotten and the tremendous spike in traffic on Tao of Poker specifically searching for anything about Brandi Hawbaker. The traffic levels on Tao of Poker barely increased during the week that Chip Reese died.

That's not to say that Chip Reese was not appreciated and remembered among the poker media. He graced the cover of several magazines and there were dozens of touching stories published from various industry figures. Even the WSOP announced that the $50K HORSE Tournament would be renamed after Chip Reese.

I know that there will be no special tournaments named after Brandi Hawbaker. She had a career $40,389 in tournament winnings. On any given day, Chip Reese probably carried around three times as much in the form of Bellagio chips in his front pocket.

I think it's pretty obvious why the Brandi Hawbaker Effect has created such a buzz in cyberspace. When you have a saint versus a sinner... the sinner always gets attention, especially when it's a former stripper who supposedly traded tournament buy-ins for anal sex.

As Change100 said it best, "It's like if Al Pacino and Britney Spears happened to die on the same day. Who did you think will get more attention from the press and the fans?"

Sadly, it's that train wreck Britney Spears.

I've always secretly called Brandi Hawker the Lindsay Lohan of Poker but did my best to refrain from writing that in a public forum. God knows, the last thing we needed was more Lindsay Lohans out there drumming up the attention while the media machines hounded her every mood.

Do we care about these events because we sensationalize them so much? Or is it that the dramas are far more interesting that the banality of everyday life?

It's a combination of both. And I'm guilty on both sides. Heck, I love a good Lindsay Lohan wastoid story. I mean, Hollyweird is cluttered with them. Instead of those "George Washington slept here" signs that you'd see at colonial landmarks, bathrooms stalls all over Sunset Strip have "Lindsay snorted coke here" signs.

The poker culture is a male dominated much like many aspects of our society. When a vixen such as Brandi waltzes into a poker room, everything is going to stop. I have seen it happen. Poker is a murky universe and when pretty things magically appear, they stand out and become tractor beams of attention.

We live in a use and abuse society. If we're not using someone we're being abused by someone else. Nothing epitomizes that more than Las Vegas. And Brandi Hawbaker's problems were just magnified once she fell into the black hole of Vegas. Very few sane people survive the darkness that lurks in the shadows of Sin City. Just like the millions of other lost souls before her, when Brandi left Vegas, she also left with more problems than when she arrived.

I don't blame the media for trying to make a buck and riding a horse to death. I don't blame the readers who are actively seeking to be entertained. It's just the way our twisted minds have been conditioned to work these days. It's the same reason why there's rubbernecking and why we slow down when we see a car accident and peek into the twisted wreckage to see if there are any dead bodies.

A couple of months from now the circus will reappear when another Brandi-type character grasps our fickle attention and we'll be ensconced in another drama with more fury than Blanche Dubois on her period. We'll waste more time sifting through mountains of scandalous 2+2 threads, and we'll crack inside jokes on boring nights at the poker tables as catch phrases like will penis on back will become a part of everyday poker vernacular.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

4:20 Day

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

Coventry is celebrating 4:20 Day with a bunch of different posts, pics, and videos. Check it out.

And, the boys over at Uncle Chuck and Friends are throwing a special tournament in honor of the herbal significance of April 20th. I should be able to make it... I just don't know if I'll be back in time from the Green Apple Festival to play. Anyway, hope to see you there...



Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Bayne Wins Staurdays with Dr. Pauly

By Pauly
Holyweird, CA

I almost missed the start of Saturdays with Dr. Pauly. Change100 returned from Monte Carlo last night and we went to the diner for brunch, except that the diner is always swamped on the weekends and it took a while before we got our food. Anyway, we got back just in time for the start.

This week's tournament had 24 runners and the top 3 got paid. CJ made a rare appearance and his Luckbox powers were in full force.

My good friend Mad also made it and was playing from Spain. She was at my starting table which also included... BiskoKid106, Poker Shrink, AA_Matt_AA, CJ, boscodon, and Mean Gene.

Big Jer was this week's Gigli. Derek busted him with a full house.

I spewed chips early in a pot to Mad. Then I busted out when my Wheel was no match for CJ's boat. Nothing is worst that raising all in against the nuts when you are drawing dead. I was eliminated in 21st place.

At the first break, AA_matt_AA was the chipleader with 4.8K and 15 players were left.

The final table this week was jeciimd, Mean Gene, AA_Matt_AA, WAXMAN13, sunno5103, bayne_s, bettercheck4, CJ and I_CrackQuads. AA_Matt_AA had the chiplead with 8.3K.

Last week's winner I_CrackQuads busted out on a crazy three-way hand. There was a lot of action pre-flop and 90% of the money was in pre-flop between sunno5103, I_CrackQuads, and Bayne. The rest of the money went in on the flop. The board ran out... Qh-10c-10s-Qs-8s. Bayne won with Jd-Jc-10h-9h and a straight. I_CrackQuads's Ac-As-5h-5d lost and he was eliminated in 9th place. And with I_CrackQuads bust out, there would not be a repeat champion this week.

At the second break, there were four players remaining as action reached the money bubble. CJ was the chipleader with 14.2K.

After a tough battle on the bubble, jecciimd went out as the Bubble Boy and finished in 4th place.

Once it got three-handed, Bayne won a major hand and doubled through CJ to take the chiplead with 16K. CJ eventually busted out in third place.

When it was heads up Bayne had a 23K to 10K lead. On the 25th hand of heads up play, Bayne took it down. On the final hand, AA_Matt_AA raised 1,600 and Bayne called. The flop was 9c-8d-7s. Bayne checked. AA_Matt_AA bet 3,200. Bayne min-check-raised to 6,400. AA_Matt_AA said, Here we go." And he called. The turn was the As. Bet bet 800. AA_Matt_AA said, "gg you got it" before he called off his last 582.

AA_Matt_AA: Qh-7c-3c-2h
Bayne: 9h-7h-5h-3d

The river was the Ac. Bayne won the pot with a bigger two pair. AA_Matt_AA was eliminated in second place while Bayne won Satudays with Dr. Pauly.

Week 12 Money Winners:
1. Bayne - $120
2. AA_Matt_AA - $72
3. CJ - $48

After numerous cashes and final table performances, Bayne finally broke through and won his first Saturdays with Dr. Pauly. Congrats!

Thanks again to everyone who played and pimped the event. Hope to see everyone next week!


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.